December 22: Jingle All the Way (1996)

Jingle All the Way. Directed by Brian Levant. 20th Century Fox, 1996.

Pre-Screening Sips

  • Jingle All the Way is one of the Christmas movies in my annual rotation
  • Yes, I know that this is considered a “bad” movie. No, I do not care.

Post-Screening Snippets

  • As a former mattress salesperson, I can confirm that all mattress salespeople are just as fake as Howard
  • Phil Hartman is hands-down the best part of this film
  • This kid has the gall to slam the door in his dad’s face and he still gets the toy he wants? The year I acted up my parents literally got me coal for Christmas. Seriously.
  • I know a lot of people don’t find this movie funny, but I giggle at the majority of Sinbad’s clearly ad-libbed lines
  • The movie really cannot decide if it wants to celebrate or criticize the commercialization of Christmas
  • You know, I’m thinking that Myron doesn’t even have a kid, he might be just as much of an unstable postal worker as he jokes about being
  • This is the movie of unwarranted close-ups of unnecessary reaction shots from under-directed performances
  • “It’s the Grinch. Scatter!” is the best line
  • Arnold punches a reindeer in this movie. I don’t have a clever snippet here, that’s just a thing that actually happens.
  • The parade commentators are some of the most perfectly cast minor roles in film
  • We learn an important message from this movie: keep your promises to your kids or they will grow up to be Darth Vader

The Final Hot Chocolate

            Jingle All the Way is not particularly special, but it is a breezy, undemanding good time. Keep it on in the background while wrapping those last-minute gifts.

GRADE: B-

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